Rant

I find myself bored and used up . The stars are dull .. and my organs feel oily . I feel like I missed my flight….i get butterflies in my stomach that turn into nausea . All I want is closure…

Yet I’m being kept away from it…

I’m in a glass case of emotion …

Laughing is okay .. but not as real as it used to be …

I hate when people tell me to smile… like you’re automatically supposed to do it…

Smiles don’t look good on me.. and apparently that’s a problem ..

From my experience, most people aren’t as nice as they seem..

If someone is an asshole to you once.. they will most likely be an asshole to you again…

I never want an accountant or a lawyer….

Pouring your heart out only results in heartbreak..

I want to leave my body…..

I tried of looking away …

I want to clean my room and stop lying..

What do people see when they look at me .. and why don’t they answer my questions..

Why are teachers the only ones who seem to answer them … maybe because they’re forced to

Thoughts run through my head during the day, the foot-in- mouth treacherous gut feeling.. can be overwhelming.

Why do I feel like I need to write this

…..I want a beer

written: August 3, 2005