This is just to say that I crave Nirvana

No I'm not in need of hearing the lat and great Kurt Cobain screech about the injustices of the world.

I want Nirvana as it is define as being the wanting of nothing.

I want to not want

where does a person start with that ?

Is it pure Buddhist logic to think of things like this

I'm always wanting constantly

since I could remember I wanted things

I used to fantasize about having the prettiest pinkest puffiest dressed Barbie when I was a girl

now it's men and makeup and clothes

I love them all but she i didn't

I'm not merely speaking of buyer’s remorse

it's a lot more than that.

It like I’ve put negative energy into the universe every time I don’t get these things

Am I spoiled

I think I was

I have a lot

Not as much as a lot of people

But definitely more that I need

And these decision I make buying and indulging these desires never manifest in satisfaction.

May be every time I fall in love

May be every time I buy something I don’t need

I lose something of myself

Nirvana please grace me with your presence.